Please

This post is a bit outdated. It was the last one I had written up before we moved back to Whitehorse and I sort of let my blog slip. I'll get myself back on track now. I promise. I need to for my own sanity.

We've spent many months working on manners. Reminding M of those magic words and pointing out when the magic is missing from a request. "Cookie" with a stomp gets you nothing. "Cookie please" may get you a cookie. Notice I said may get a cookie. We're working on the whole "can't always get what you want" theory too.

As a direct result of the whole manners education, he has slightly warped what we consider traditional politeness. "Scuse me" works for everything from getting the dog to move to getting mom to shut the fridge door and get out of his way. "Sorry" is usually applied to an animal or a toy when he accidentally bonks them. I have yet to hear him use it on mommy or daddy. We're still working on that one. M has no problem with thank you or you're welcome. He says them regularily. Sometimes reversed but he does say them and the intent is there. Please is the one we seem to have confused for him.

We have over emphasized "please" He assumes "please" will get him whatever he wants. On the flip side, since "please" is the magic word, it can be used when he does not want something. "No please" has become his most often spoken phrase. Don't want to eat that, no please works nicely. Don't want to watch that show, no please applies. Have no urge to leave daycare while mommy waits impatiently. An emphatic No Please! gets your point across. It's interesting to see him asserting his opinions and independance but I am left wondering if we are missing a lesson here. How do you teach a child who is trying so hard to be polite that "no please" is not a universal "get out of whatever we want you to do" card.

I heard "No please mommy" at least 7 times this afternoon while trying to get him to leave daycare. He politely declined all of my bribes, all my suggestions until I finally picked him up and dragged him out to the car. I'm sure there is a better way to handle this. I'm guessing there is some toddler rationalization that I am simply missing here.

Whatever that rationalization may be, I sure hope I discover it soon or I may have to resort to the "my way or the highway" attitude.