Conneticut

Did you hug your child a little longer tonight? A little harder? A few extra kisses at bedtime?

I know I did.

I spent my day trying to avoid the news. I didn't want to know what happened. I didn't want to hear if any of the children didn't make it. I wanted to stay in my nice, safe bubble where my child is ok and that's all that matters.

It's not all that matters though. There are parents out there tonight who will not have the opportunity to hug their little ones again. Their boys and girls went off to school this morning, excited about Christmas Break coming soon, probably a little wound up with all the holiday festivities and likely spending a fair bit of time considering just what the holidays would bring to their little lives. Their families were all in the same frame of mind just like many of us are at this time of year.

This is supposed to be one of the happier times of the year. A time when we stop and focus on our families, spending time together and appreciating the small things in life.

One young man has turned this in to a nightmare for the families who lost a loved one today and my heart is breaking for them.

I know we gave M bigger hugs, told him we love, love, loved him, let him stay snuggled up a little longer, read him a longer bedtime story and generally spent a little extra time with him. It wasn't for him  so much as for us. We were reassuring ourselves that he is ok, that we still have a child to hug goodnight, that a madman has not entered our lives and we thank the universe for it. In all of this though, my heart breaks for those parents who no longer have that luxury.

I truly hope that change comes from this heartbreaking situation.

An original boy

It's been a while since I've put anything on this blog and I think it's time to breathe a little life back in to it. So here's my world 2 years later. (wow, it doesn't feel like 2 years since I posted)

M is becoming more of an original little boy than I ever thought possible. He is expressing himself in so many unique ways and we are beginning to see just what an individual he is likely to become. At almost 5, he loves Muppets, Care Bears, Toy Story, Madagascar, Avengers, Ninja Turtles and princesses. All things princess, especially if it involves Snow White. On his 4th birthday party, he had to have a Cinderella dress so he could be a princess at his party. For Halloween, he had to have a Snow White dress "cause she's my favourite princess". 

When we ask if kids will tease him for dressing up he patiently explains "Boys can be princesses and girls can be superheroes but only if they want to" and then he gives us an exasperated look and flounces away. Seriously, he flounces, hands on his hips, princess dress puffing up behind him.

I'm not terribly worried about this as long as he maintains that attitude. He seems to have a healthy balance of interests and some of them happen to be what society would class as girly. I am classing them as caring, empathetic, kind and fashionable. He has pretty good taste in his princess outfits.

I love that he is so unique and I hope that he is able to maintain his individuality after he starts school. I really hope he will always remember this side of himself and stick up for those kids who are different. He may outgrow this phase, he may not, however I hope he will always be the first one to befriend the child who doesn't fit the mold society has made for them.

Please

This post is a bit outdated. It was the last one I had written up before we moved back to Whitehorse and I sort of let my blog slip. I'll get myself back on track now. I promise. I need to for my own sanity.

We've spent many months working on manners. Reminding M of those magic words and pointing out when the magic is missing from a request. "Cookie" with a stomp gets you nothing. "Cookie please" may get you a cookie. Notice I said may get a cookie. We're working on the whole "can't always get what you want" theory too.

As a direct result of the whole manners education, he has slightly warped what we consider traditional politeness. "Scuse me" works for everything from getting the dog to move to getting mom to shut the fridge door and get out of his way. "Sorry" is usually applied to an animal or a toy when he accidentally bonks them. I have yet to hear him use it on mommy or daddy. We're still working on that one. M has no problem with thank you or you're welcome. He says them regularily. Sometimes reversed but he does say them and the intent is there. Please is the one we seem to have confused for him.

We have over emphasized "please" He assumes "please" will get him whatever he wants. On the flip side, since "please" is the magic word, it can be used when he does not want something. "No please" has become his most often spoken phrase. Don't want to eat that, no please works nicely. Don't want to watch that show, no please applies. Have no urge to leave daycare while mommy waits impatiently. An emphatic No Please! gets your point across. It's interesting to see him asserting his opinions and independance but I am left wondering if we are missing a lesson here. How do you teach a child who is trying so hard to be polite that "no please" is not a universal "get out of whatever we want you to do" card.

I heard "No please mommy" at least 7 times this afternoon while trying to get him to leave daycare. He politely declined all of my bribes, all my suggestions until I finally picked him up and dragged him out to the car. I'm sure there is a better way to handle this. I'm guessing there is some toddler rationalization that I am simply missing here.

Whatever that rationalization may be, I sure hope I discover it soon or I may have to resort to the "my way or the highway" attitude.